Tuesday, September 9, 2008

long time nvr post liao...
but everytime i sat in front of the com...
i cant seem to get mi fingers movin...

OBS!
5daez on ubin...
ROX... except 4 the weather
kinda miss the outdoor life...

dae1...
lots of admin stuff to do... boring
got to noe mi other watch-mates...
adeline,
alicia,
andrew,
dion,
esther,
hong yuan,
jack,
jia xian,
jie ying,
gk,
nazrul,
sarah,
veronica,
xiao hui,
yong jie
we're in cheng ho watch...
instructor was dayah
blah blah blah...
(i fill in the details next time bahh... cos vry long)

came bak on fridae...
mom was worried...
cos on the 3rd nite rained lyk hell...
went bak home stinkin...
after a long bath lunched wif ling jie at BPP mac...
missed Big Mac
bought dinner 4 bro cos he nid go 4 tuition
den slpt frm 6pm all the way to next dae

woke up at round 10 plus...
used com awhile den went out 2 order specs
went bak home n slp again
ima pig...

cant rlly rmb much on sundae...
all i noe was tt i was forced to get a haircut...
den went out wif family...
tt nite was hell... family problemz

some things i found out after i came bak...
-dad started to take heavier medications...
tt old man is not holdin on any longer...
dam...
-my parents planned to transfer mi to another sch
if mi academic results still dont improve...
another bad news...
-im dying... soon

i kinda had a twin sibing...
i knew tis all along...
jus so happen to recall it...
whr is my twin?
guess wad...
...i kill him/her...
... accidentally
bak den i wasnt even born yet...
we were both still undeveloped foetus...
for some unknown reason i damaged the other physically...
it was around the 1st few weeks...
n disappeared as time past...
im feelin guilty... even if it wasnt intentional
tis guilt will live on i guess...

i wish for a life without love...
absence of feelins...
and affection towards her...
but tts imposible...
it still hurts everytime i see them both... tgt
i jus wan to 4get n live on...
love wont get mi anywhr...
it cant feed mi nor give mi shelter...
its jus plain useless... 4 now
if i dun 4get her... i'll die
wastin mi whole life...
i dun want tt
its not her fault...
it nvr was...
the problem lies within mi...
feedin on mi inside out...
now thrs jus too much pressure on mi...
mi sch work, academic results, family problems, parental pressure, exam stress plus more...
now wad? love?
...SCREW OFF!
i hate my life...
i swore at my childhood days...
i look away frm the future...
here i am now,
standin in the middle of nowhere...
left to rot in the open...
how more fuckin excitin could life be?

'''[b]Ludy [R]ose~
9:40 PM